Buit in expectations

Perfect child - Broken adult

Hi, so ok, I never wrote anything besides poetry before but basically I’ve been thinking about this theme a lot and i also see it really accuratly represented in Tv although usually people don’t like it cause its not pretty.

So… when you are a child and people take you down you grow up pretty messed up right? You can work on it but its due to happen.

Now what I think it’s not acknowlegded a lot is when your family worships you in a way when you are a child. So you grow up thinking you are just naturally good, good at everything that you do.

That’s obviously not true but children internalize that and I would say it leads to acadamic pressure and people pleasing. When can see this in characters like Rory Gilmore, I know lots of people hate her arc and I think it’s an eye opener and an accutare fall from grace of a “perfect child”

I personally, feel like I’m always competing with the image poeple have of me, trying to keep up with all the expections my family has of me since i was a child.

I know this isn’t coming from a bad place but it is harmful. Also, when people complement certain aspects of yorself and then tell you you are good they are rooting in you the way of thinking that your self worth is rooted in your capability to do something. As a teenager I can understand that that’s not really true but from a young age that is, again, really harmful. Even if you don’t realize it.

I actually wrote a poem about this, the italicization lines are set in childhood and youth and the normal ones are the reprecussions those have (it’s pretty self-explanatory really).

i’m good

everybody says i’m lovely

i draw well

i’m smart

and creative

i can make up stories and draw the pictures myself

i have good grades thusfore i am good

i like to read so i am smarter

i’m good at everything i do

funny how thruthfully manipulative that is

is the kind of support that crushes your selfesteem later

is the kind of compliments that will threaten your sense of self

i dont want to draw anymore

i’m not that good at writting

i’m still creative

so i HAVE to have good grades

What happens when you grow and sudently you don’t know who you are

‘cause you aren’t good at everything

and the things you are good at aren’t things you like

what happens when you have a bad day

so you have a bad grade

so you re bad?

Hope it was helpful or interesting!

Joana